Real Talk: The Girl Code in 2017

Girl Code

/ɡərl kōd/


1. the DOs and DON’Ts of healthy female friendship.

It’s 2017, and the feminist movement is stronger than ever; recent women’s marches in Chicago, Los Angeles, Washington D.C., and Seattle have proven that. So I think it’s the perfect time for a revival of our girl guidelines.

Let’s refresh. What rules officially fall under Girl Code? Well, the code comes with a long set of written and unwritten rules, but I think some are more significant than others. After reading numerous theories, here are my definitive top 5:

1. No hating on other women. Especially if you don’t know them.

We’re all sisters, no matter the size, status, personality, etc. It’s easy to cheer on close friends and family, but we have to remember to support complete strangers too! That means if you see another girl doing her own thing, whether you agree with it or not, respect her. If she has something you don’t, applaud her! Aspire to be her. But don’t hate on her.

2. Never go for a friend’s ex without permission. Ever. 

“…That’s just, like, the rules of feminism!” Gretchen Wieners said it best. You should never get involved with a friend’s former beau. This one is so well known, yet broken so often. It’s a messy subject because often times, the offending party believes their relationship is some sort of exception. But it never is, and sadly many friendships end over this conflict. So repeat after me, “He’s not worth it. I will find someone else, someone better. A boy that won’t put me in a compromising position with my friend”.


3. Honesty is the best policy for relationship (or lack thereof) advice.

This is girlfriend duty 101! As females, it’s our job to be supportive and, most importantly, truthful when it comes to guys. 

Scenario 1: Your friend is in a flawed relationship, but love and attention is blinding her. If her S.O. isn’t treating her right, show her how to confront him. If her flame is acting shady and having trouble committing, help her end it confidently.

Scenario 2: Your friend feels lonely and her desire to be in a relationship is making her sad and a little desperate. This is your moment to tell her how special she is! Remind her that her independence, brain, and talents will take her far. Assure her that Mr. Right will come in time when she’s ready. 

4. Information exchanged in confidence is PRIVATE.

When your friend confides in you, it means she trusts you. Either she needs you to be a soundboard to process things, or she actually wants your advice. Regardless of the reason, what you hear is for your ears only! So, if a conversation is lagging, don’t use her problems as a gossip conversation point. Most importantly, DON’T share her secrets with others for social capital. It may boost your status for five minutes, but that’s it. Your time will be up, people will move on, and your friendship with the other person will be over. Remember to seal your lips and throw away the key!

5. When your friend is having her moment, just be proud and let her thrive. 

Never try and steal the spotlight. Success is not a zero-sum game, so when your friend’s personal or work life is going well, you shouldn’t feel threatened. Don’t cause unnecessary drama, drudge up old issues, or make her feel bad. It’s not about you! Support her, and when it’s your turn, she will do the same for you.

Thanks to these Girl Code rules, female friend-ship will never sink.

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Beth Schaller is a Social Media/Marketing Intern and Copywriter for AKIRA. She would describe her style as casual-edgy California mixed with New York street style. Beth’s creativity and passion for fashion bleeds into every project she engages in, including her pursuit of an English degree at The University of Illinois at Urbana-Champaign. Outside of her time with AKIRA, Beth watches a considerable amount of crime shows and horror films. Her favorite quote is “Stay sexy. Don’t get murdered.” Watch her try and achieve the perfect Instagram aesthetic @bethslaundry, and visit her personal blog of the same name.


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